burning the midnight oil


Years ago as a young adult I remember when insomnia would strike me. Maybe it was from having caffeine too late in the day or maybe it was from medicine or maybe from worry. Either way, it was an occasional issue and I didn’t handle it very well. I remember lying in bed at night and crying, CRYING because I was so very tired and couldn’t fall asleep.

I don’t cry over it any more.

As a mid-lifer, middle age woman, however you want to phrase that, (I’m 42) I still have bouts of insomnia. Currently it’s from the medicine I have to take for pain. I have tried my very best to take as few as possible and I am doing very good with that aspect. However, I am still having considerable pain in the evening and needing pain meds, and simply dreading knowing that while I won’t be in pain, I will be awake. Last night was one such night. I had considerable pain and took my medicine around 10pm. I then lay in bed, eyes closed, the right temperature setting, fan blowing on low and otherwise very comfortable. I checked the clock periodically and saw as 12, then 1:20, then 2:30 and then 3:15 came and went. I was upset but not crying. I just couldn’t make my mind be still.  So what can I do? My natural tendency is to let my imagination run wild, but my natural tendency is also very sinful and I can spend considerable time imagining all sorts of disasters or illnesses coming on my family. Kids falling down stairs, getting run over by cars, diagnosed with terminal illness. Husband bored with me and wandering off and more. Oh my mind is a desperately wicked place! So I have to train myself, make myself, focus on good things. Find things to be thankful for, which for me isn’t very hard. I have a LOT to be thankful for. When I run out of that, then I start thinking over my list of friends or Facebook acquaintances who need prayer. And I pray. I pray for the ones in China on missions, I pray for all the pastors and their wives. I pray for the moms who are stressed, sick, dying. I pray for their children. I pray for the lost to find Jesus. I pray for Jesus to come! I pray and pray until I fall asleep. When I wake up, typically very very late in the morning after a night like this, I feel rested. I feel at peace. I feel all “prayed up”. I want to hug my kids a little tighter, find more things to be thankful for and as the day goes on, I pray a little more for those I’d already prayed for. “Such a time as this”. Maybe I was wide awake, for such a time as this.

Matthew 6:25-34 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

The Cure for Anxiety
25 “For this reason I say to you, [a]do not be worried about your [b]life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the [c]air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? 27 And who of you by being worried can add a single [d]hour to his [e]life? 28 And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, 29 yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! 31 Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ 32 For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But [f]seek first [g]His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be [h]added to you.

34 “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will [i]care for itself. [j]Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Jeremiah 17:9 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

9 “The heart is more deceitful than all else
And is desperately sick;
Who can understand it?

Philippians 4:8 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is [a]lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, [b]dwell on these things.

Psalm 100 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

All Men Exhorted to Praise God.
A Psalm for [a]Thanksgiving.

100 Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth.
2 Serve the Lord with gladness;
Come before Him with joyful singing.
3 Know that the Lord [b]Himself is God;
It is He who has made us, and [c]not we ourselves;
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
4 Enter His gates with [d]thanksgiving
And His courts with praise.
Give thanks to Him, bless His name.
5 For the Lord is good;
His lovingkindness is everlasting
And His faithfulness to all generations.

1 Samuel 12:23 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

23 Moreover, as for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by ceasing to pray for you; but I will instruct you in the good and right way.


So tell me....

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s