Tag Archives: praying

the grey matter matters


I lie awake at night and think, and emote, and pray, and cry.
I think about the news today; the wars and fighting in Ukraine and Iraq, the children killed in Israel, the people starving in Syria and South Sudan, the flooding in Serbia, the list goes on.
Wars and rumors of wars, famine, earthquakes in various places (Arizona anyone??)
And I just wonder, is this it? Would we really be seeing the beginning of the birth pangs that Jesus talked about almost 2000 years ago?

My dad always said that EVERYONE (followers of Christ that is) wants to believe that they are in the “end of days” because we all want to see the appearing of our Lord who we have put our faith in without seeing in person. But I’m finding that my “christian” friends are NOT looking forward to seeing Jesus, they aren’t afraid of dying, they just don’t want to die because life is still pretty good here. They still have things to do, places to go, money to make. And I wonder, do they even get it? Have they ever truly understood the evil that is in this world, and the enormous Holiness that is life in the presence of our Creator? Do they understand that life in heaven is a life without any negative thought ever??
Maybe they’ve never experienced real pain, maybe things in this life have been too good to them, maybe no one has ever really challenged their spiritual contentedness.
But then I think, I haven’t experienced real pain, I haven’t been imprisoned for my faith or watched a loved one slaughtered before me, I’ve never been told I have to pay the government in order to keep worshipping as I wish. (These things are happening people!) I’ve had it pretty good. I was born a caucasian in America, things given to me that many had to fight for. Never homeless, I had both parents and three meals a day. But somehow God has put in me a craving to be with Him. It’s not a suicidal thing, you shouldn’t be worrying about me (yes I’ve been asked “should I worry about you?” and people see this as depression)
I guess I’ve just come to the part of this life where I’ve seen enough, I’ve had enough and I can tell it’s not getting any better until Jesus returns. But here I am, so what am I to do while I wait? What AM I doing while I wait? I am spending time in prayer for the lost and the lukewarm, I am praying for the churches to start to preach the WHOLE gospel and not just the fuzzy warm bits, I am sharing Jesus with my friends, family, and neighbors, and I continue to disciple our sons. I am still learning more about God, reading new things in His word *almost* every day, checking the news, the sky and the earth for any more signs. We don’t know WHEN He is coming, but we are told that we will know the signs, we’ll be aware of the time IF we are looking for it.
So here’s where I go each day to keep on top of “things”.
news via google for latest from ALL sources considered legit
spaceweather for latest about the sun/astroids/solar flares
earthquake-usgs for latest worldwide earthquake information
standupforthetruth a good place to find information on the apostasy happening in churches today

And weekly
olivetreeviews a weekly radio show I like to listen to

rapturereadynews a place for “end times” related news, not all sources are reliable though…

And for good preaching ( if you’re half starved like I am most days)

CBC of Beaufort SC 


What are you doing to prepare your heart and the hearts of those around you to be ready for the return of Jesus?

Any good sites I should add to my list?

Peace and light,


Oh how He loves you and me!


It is hard to tell folks how you pray, and harder to share how God answers. But I have felt it very important to document this, to journal it and to share it. So here goes. After reading a post from Flower Patch Farmgirl, I had prayed that God would show me who He is and show me how He loves me, and then all of this amazing stuff started happening (like literally, that first day). And all awhile it felt weird sharing that because it seemed like I was saying “God loves me with worldly stuff”. So this weekend I sat on my porch enjoying the sun and cool breeze and I started praying, just asking God to explain this way of answering my prayers. What I got, if I can explain it, what God spoke into me, was this:

I have loved you since the world began. I loved you as I knit you together. I loved you as you wandered the world in darkness and I loved you as I came down to save you by paying for your sins with My death on the cross. Because I know you, and I know how you FEEL loved, that is why I answered your prayers with this job and this move, because that is the language that you speak. 


Now doesn’t that just beat all? As I typed this out I thought of the catchy words “love language” and realized, God showed me HIS love in MY love language. That just tells me even more, that I have absolutely no real concept of the depth and complex layers and infinite  amount of love that God has for me.


And P.S. He loves you that much too!