A divine appointment

Last night I decided to walk down to the beach after taking a ridiculously long soak in the bath. Scott never likes me to wander off alone so he recruited Jack to go with me.

Jack hollers back to me “you’re walking slow tonight mom!”

We arrive at the beach and look for the sandcastle we’d built yesterday to no avail. I see a woman come out and sit on the bulkhead. I take this picture.

Jack says the bugs are eating him up and he’s heading back home. I walk behind him slowly, the woman says hello to me. I feel the Holy Spirit moving me in her direction. I ask her how she’s doing tonight. Her wobbly smile betrays the truth and she starts to cry. “It’s a nice place to come for a cry.” I say, she chortles softly. “Tell a stranger your troubles” I say as I sit down next to her. She talks and I listen. A little while goes by and Sam arrives to fetch me after hearing Jack’s report to Scott that “mom is talking to a stranger”. He sits quietly as we continue talking. I end by placing my hand on her shoulder and praying for her. God wants her to know, and He wants YOU to know, you are not alone. He sees you, He knows your pain and He is loving you right through it all. You are one in a billion, and He loves you. You may have no one to talk to but He is listening. After ALL is said and done, after this life is done, HE IS THERE. Put one foot in front of the other and do the next thing. God is still on the throne. And remember, NONE OF THIS TOOK GOD BY SURPRISE.

Thank you God for this divine appointment. You are always working around me, I just had to show up, listen up and speak up. All glory and honor and praise are YOURS.

the grey matter matters

I lie awake at night and think, and emote, and pray, and cry.
I think about the news today; the wars and fighting in Ukraine and Iraq, the children killed in Israel, the people starving in Syria and South Sudan, the flooding in Serbia, the list goes on.
Wars and rumors of wars, famine, earthquakes in various places (Arizona anyone??)
And I just wonder, is this it? Would we really be seeing the beginning of the birth pangs that Jesus talked about almost 2000 years ago?

My dad always said that EVERYONE (followers of Christ that is) wants to believe that they are in the “end of days” because we all want to see the appearing of our Lord who we have put our faith in without seeing in person. But I’m finding that my “christian” friends are NOT looking forward to seeing Jesus, they aren’t afraid of dying, they just don’t want to die because life is still pretty good here. They still have things to do, places to go, money to make. And I wonder, do they even get it? Have they ever truly understood the evil that is in this world, and the enormous Holiness that is life in the presence of our Creator? Do they understand that life in heaven is a life without any negative thought ever??
Maybe they’ve never experienced real pain, maybe things in this life have been too good to them, maybe no one has ever really challenged their spiritual contentedness.
But then I think, I haven’t experienced real pain, I haven’t been imprisoned for my faith or watched a loved one slaughtered before me, I’ve never been told I have to pay the government in order to keep worshipping as I wish. (These things are happening people!) I’ve had it pretty good. I was born a caucasian in America, things given to me that many had to fight for. Never homeless, I had both parents and three meals a day. But somehow God has put in me a craving to be with Him. It’s not a suicidal thing, you shouldn’t be worrying about me (yes I’ve been asked “should I worry about you?” and people see this as depression)
I guess I’ve just come to the part of this life where I’ve seen enough, I’ve had enough and I can tell it’s not getting any better until Jesus returns. But here I am, so what am I to do while I wait? What AM I doing while I wait? I am spending time in prayer for the lost and the lukewarm, I am praying for the churches to start to preach the WHOLE gospel and not just the fuzzy warm bits, I am sharing Jesus with my friends, family, and neighbors, and I continue to disciple our sons. I am still learning more about God, reading new things in His word *almost* every day, checking the news, the sky and the earth for any more signs. We don’t know WHEN He is coming, but we are told that we will know the signs, we’ll be aware of the time IF we are looking for it.
So here’s where I go each day to keep on top of “things”.
news via google for latest from ALL sources considered legit
spaceweather for latest about the sun/astroids/solar flares
earthquake-usgs for latest worldwide earthquake information
standupforthetruth a good place to find information on the apostasy happening in churches today

And weekly
olivetreeviews a weekly radio show I like to listen to

rapturereadynews a place for “end times” related news, not all sources are reliable though…

And for good preaching ( if you’re half starved like I am most days)

CBC of Beaufort SC 

 

What are you doing to prepare your heart and the hearts of those around you to be ready for the return of Jesus?

Any good sites I should add to my list?

Peace and light,

Paige

Praying for Joy, Peace and Thankfulness

These three things, Joy, Peace and Thankfulness have been on the top of my prayers lately. I am desperate to be thankful in all things. I find myself so anxious when things don’t happen quickly, and that leads me to pray for peace. I find myself a little grumpy at this interim, and that leads me to pray for Joy. I have this desire to call all my friends and ask them to pray for me, but then I remember, I can pray!   So I do. I pray Lord, give me peace in YOUR timing, give me joy in THIS moment, and show me how to be thankful for what You are doing and are going to do. 

I get antsy, and then the phone rings. The gal on the line says she ran into someone she grew up with and he’s moving out of his house. She says he’s interested in renting it out. She meets me and shows me the house, and I fall in love (as much love as you can for wood and stone and glass). 

our new home, from the front

our new home, from the back. 

 

This is a great GREAT place. I prayed for something that wasn’t too big or too small. It looks a LOT bigger than it is. I prayed for a place with hard wood/tile/NON carpet floors (because of the boys allergies, and easier to keep clean). This place has NO CARPET. I prayed for a place close to Scott’s work, and close to town. This is both of those. It is such a clear answer to prayer, and we are so happy and thankful for this gift God has so richly given us. I am blown away, and kind of in shock at the abundant blessing. 

We are aiming to move in June 1, so only three more weeks of hotel life! We are kind of getting the hang of it, but I know the dogs are bored to tears not being able to get about and sniff everything.  I’ll post more pictures of the home here as soon as we are inside. It’s really neat! 

“two weeks, two days” by my mom.

Please excuse me if the entry title is not correct. These last few weeks have flown by and also seemed like a lifetime. They have been like walking through jello, being in an altered state, dazed, like what you see in movies when people are intoxicated or drugged. There have been times of precise alertness and times of confusion and memory lag. I go to the freezer to get something from the pantry. I go from the front of the house to the office in the back and wonder what I am there for. It takes me easily three times as long to accomplish any task.

There is an incredible amount of paper work and telephone calls after someone dies. Although we had prepared as best we knew how, there are still many, many loose ends to tie up. And I’m doing this on two or less cylinders. Thankfully, I have very good friends in place who are walking with me, talking me through all of this and reminding me of conversations with bankers, employers, lawyers, etc. They also are making sure I eat and check up on my sleep schedule. What do people do when they have to face this without dear friends and Jesus? I can’t imagine!

Lily is a comfort even as she grieves. She is mirroring all of the feelings I’m experiencing. Joy: She exultantly greets Papa in the morning on the patio, as she looks at the clouds. “Hi Papa! Good morning!” Sorrow: she mimics me as I sob or gasp for breath. After a few mimics, it becomes comic relief and I have to laugh. She expresses anger, “I don’t like Papa!” When I ask why, she says, “He is happy and we are sad!” She has her own grief. After watching the video from the service: the first time she laughed and pointed out everyone: “there’s Papa when he was young! There’s Papa when he was a baby! There’s me! There’s Paige, etc.” Second time through, same response. She wanted to watch a third time and when I said no, because she needed to eat breakfast, she cried inconsolably. I relented and let her watch a third time and she sat silently and cried silently. Afterward I hugged her for a long time.

This is a continuation of the journey Wayne and I started when he was first diagnosed. Only this leg of the trip, I’m travelling without my life partner. People use the term surreal. I’m going to have to look that word up.

One thing I am happy about: I dearly wanted to travel with Wayne right up to the door that separates earth and eternity. God granted me that desire. I can rest in knowing we fulfilled our vows, “till death do us part.” Thanks be to God.

Grief without peace is misery (I can only imagine)

What would it be like to grieve without peace. What would it be like to mourn the loss of a loved one and not know if you believe in heaven or hell or anything? What would that be like?

I have no idea, and I’m glad I have no idea. I have this odd thing where I am crying, bent over the empty hospital bed and weeping, and at the exact same moment praising my God and thanking Him for the beautiful live well lived of the man who is gone, the man I call dad.

My prayers, my mumblings, are like this “I love you daddy. I love you so much. I’m so glad you are at peace now. I’m so glad you are in heaven. You stayed on the path, you walked it true, you never veered to the right or to the left. You daddy, my sweet sweet daddy, are a good and faithful servant of our Father God. You waited for the grandkids to come see you. You waited for mom to crawl in bed with you. You waited to hear “it’s okay to go”. You waited long enough and now you are in glory. Father God, I praise you for coming to my earthly father all those years ago and for drawing him to you. Thank you Jesus for loving my daddy so much even when he was a foul mouth, middle finger flipping teen. Thank you for seeing all that YOU had put in him and for not relinquishing him to this world. Thank you for pursuing him and my mom, for later pursuing me. Thank you Father for loving my daddy so well and teaching him how to love us so well. I’m so SO SO glad he’s with you now. I’m jealous. I long hard to be with you. I will one day be with you. This I am certain, I know I have eternal life. Lord thank you for my daddy, for your love, for your gift of salvation in your person Jesus, for loving us all while we were filthy cussing, middle finger flipping fools. Tell daddy I’m going to be okay. I’m going to take care of Momma and we will see him again. ” Amen and Amen